The Sick Day That Reminded Me Why

It was the same usual crazy day. And right when I finally got to sit down to work… the school calls. Sick teen.

Because, of course.

She started crying as we walked to the car and said she just wanted to go to bed and sleep. So I gave her something for her headache, got her settled on the couch with water nearby, and wrapped her in the electric blanket. And as I turned to head to my desk to work while she sleeps…

She reached out and wanted me to stay with her. “Mommy.”

So I did.

And just like that, the craziness, the chaos, it all stopped.

Because I am mom.

She curled into me on the couch, my growing (and taller than me) teen suddenly tiny again. Then it clicks. I’m not as invisible as it feels a lot of the time as a mom. Because of this moment right here.

This is exactly why I chose to work for myself instead of going back to corporate. Sure, I’d crush it there. But I still stand by my decision to be fully available for her and her brother. For times like this. It's been over seven years since I became a divorced single mom of two. I know she didn’t get me solo when she wanted or needed me over those years. And I'm sure there's hurt, resentment, and more. But I was just one and they were two at ages three and six.

It's been hard, juggling multiple streams of income, raising young humans, and now I’m surviving perimenopause chaos while she's in her teenage years. And I’d be lying if I said I never peeked at other people’s careers and thought, Shouldn’t I be further ahead by now?

But work doesn’t matter in this moment. Because right now she needs me. And this reminds me why I took us the path I did.

My unexpectedly sweet meet cute moment with our glowing Christmas tree right there. Me with my not-so-little-girl asleep and snuggled tightly beside me like she used to. I remember the hundreds and thousands of past moments I watched this face sleep peacefully.

And honestly, even with all the hardest of times we've had and still will have, I’d choose it all over again.

Every single time.

Because I am mom.

Hers.