You've Been Watching the Wrong Love Story
Before the divorce, I watched The Holiday the way most people do. For the snow. For the cottage. For those interiors. Because honestly, I could not tell you what I loved more, the Surrey cottage or the Bel Air mansion. (Ed Burns is lovely. Jack Black has great energy. But that kitchen.) But one viewing, something different happened.
It was Arthur. The old screenwriter. Iris's neighbor. Explaining what a meet cute is. That moment where two people collide and something begins, and I remember thinking: I want that.
I thought I knew what I meant, but the meaning of "meet cute" kept changing on me.
After the divorce was final, then came single motherhood. Then Covid and quarantine. Somewhere in all of that, "meet cute" stopped being about romance and became about the only love story I could actually reach. The one between me and my kids. The minis were my meet cute. That's what I held onto.
Then Christmas 2020. Minis were with their dad for winter break. Apartment quiet. My chosen sister Tanya had basically issued a formal decree: Sit down. Relax.
But I didn't know how. I genuinely did not know how to be in my own space without a task list.
So I went to the store alone, made myself a big bowl of ice cream, watched movies, and danced by myself in the living room. Full Kevin McCallister. Zero apologies. (Yes, I know Home Alone isn't a rom-com. Kevin's mom though? Whole other conversation.)
That was the first time in years I did something just because I wanted to. No reason. No one to take care of. Just me.
That was 2020. It's 2026 now. I'm in my 50s. The minis are 10 and 13. With opinions and group chats and opinions about my opinions. And somewhere in these last few years, I started watching rom-coms again after a long break. When I came back, they hit different. I kept noticing the woman. Not who she ends up with. What she finally lets herself want.
I watched The Holiday differently too. Iris doesn't go to Los Angeles to find a man. She goes to survive. She's trying to get herself off a shelf she put herself on years ago. Miles is lovely. But Miles isn't the point. Arthur is the point. The moment she walks back into that party in a gold dress and owns the room. That's the whole movie. And Amanda? She can't cry. That's her whole arc. Not will she fall in love, but will she let herself feel anything again. The love story is what happens after she stops running.
It was hiding inside the rom-com the whole time. I just needed a few more chapters of my own life before I could see it. Well, here's my decree. Someone has to say it, so it's going to be me.
Moms, watch those rom-coms. Read those love stories. But this time, don't watch to escape. Watch her. The leading lady. Because there is no story without her. No meet cute, no plot, no movie. She is the whole thing. And so are you. The love story you've been cheering for in every single one of those films? It's time to aim it at yourself.
Same rom-com. But this time, through a mom-com lens. Because the best meet cute? It always starts with you.
From Top to Bottom, Everyday Sillybrations: Christmas (Inspired by Kevin McCallister of “Home Alone”), 12.25.2020; National Whipped Cream Day, 01.05.2021; Therapeutic Massage Day, 05.01.2021; National Dance Day, 09.19.2020
